Welcome to our world!
We are TabA and SlotB. Now take your pants off and bark like a dog.
What     Crap     DogNames     Hate/Love     Music /Books     TShirt     Pictures     About Us     Site Map     Contact Us      
This page is a load of crap.  Read with caution.
 

One_Hand

Slot B: I could count the number of guys I've had sex with on one hand...if I was holding a calculator.

Tab A: I could count all the girls I've fucked with one hand if I had 87 fingers.

  

Girl_Powerless

I saw you as I was walking my dog. When I looked back and saw you getting ready to break into my truck, I knew there was nothing I could do. When you are a girl and you realize that there are two guys about to rip you off, you end up succumbing to the feeling you had in grade school when the bully is stealing your lunch money and all you can do is hand it over. Everything about that situation was not right, and I didn't know how to handle it. I'm sure you didn't know it was my truck. I bet you were surprised when you found some snow chains, a few stinky dog toys, and some beach blankets in the box you stole out of my truck. Sometimes it sucks being a girl. I hope those chains come in handy sport.

 

 

RePeat

Slot B: "When I get old, all you will have to worry about is me forgetting things."

Tab A: "That's okay, all you will have to deal with is me repeating myself."

Slot B: "That's a good combo."

 

Boring

Tab A: "He amplified boring to the point where it was deafening."

 

10%

Tab A: "When it comes to parenting I only say 10% of the shit I want to say."

Slot B: "Well that's what makes you a good parent."

 

Work

Work, I hate you.  I know I should feel grateful in these times that I have you…but the only reason I’m staying with you is out of fear and the reality that I don’t know if there is something that can replace you.  When you ask me if I love you, I say ‘of course baby’ because I am utterly and completely dependent on you.  When you demand I spend more time with you, I’ll go out of my way to find ways to spend less time with you.  I’ve always said I wouldn’t stay with you for the money.  But here I find myself with you for the paycheck.  Fuck you work. 

 

Question

Slot B: "There are no stupid questions, just stupid people."

 

Kill

Tab A: "The thing you think is going to kill you isn't."

 

Ed

Tab A: "That name is past tense."

 

Aqua Velva

Tab A: "So I'm walking up to this guy who is apparently the builder of our house and all I can think is that this guy must sweat nicotine and pee Aqua Velva.”

 

PickPocket

Tab A: "So this fucker's trying to pickpocket me in a vegetable market in Nha Trang, Viet Nam.  I stole his wallet.”

 

Deserve

Slot B: "At times I am hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best”


About 

Taba A: This is a real questionnaire I got at work.  Answers are not so real...(not submitted anyway)...

1. Favorite holiday: Any day I call in sick and whack off
2. Favorite restaurant/food: Beer
3. If you could have one super power, what would it be? Ability to whack off all day long
4. If you could do anything, with no fear of bodily injury, what would you do? Whack off all day long
5. What errand/chore do you secretly like doing? Whacking off
6. If you could teach people one thing, what would it be? How to whack off
7. Favorite color: Whatever color beer is
8. Birth place: My mama's vagina
9. First job: Getting out of my mama's vagina and then whacking off

 

Cow
Tab A: “Did you hear about the guy convicted of animal bestiality in Australia?”
Slot B: “You mean the guy who fucked the dead horse?”
Tab A: “No I mean the guy who fucked the cow. The judge asked ‘What were you thinking man?’ and the guy said, ‘I guess I was thinking of a younger sexier cow.’”

 

Accomplishment:

Tab A: "What are your accomplishments?

Slot B: "Eye lrnd to reed. You?"

Tab A: "I learned to draw."

 

Sister

Tab A: "I didn't know M had a sister!

 

Jesus

Tab A: "Hey, Jesus was a capricorn!"

Slot B: "Got shit done.  Took one for the team!" 

 

Reputation

TabA: "Germans have a saying: 'Once your reputation is ruined, you can live freely'"

 

Smell

Tab A: "Sometimes you have to smell your own farts."

 

Isn't

Tab A: "There isn't a guy on earth who isn't thrilled he isn't a woman."

Slot B: "You mean: There is a guy on earth who is thrilled he is a woman?"

 

Together

Slot B: "We've been together for more than a year."

Tab A: "Feels like more..."

Slot B: "Keep talkin' cuz my knees are a knockin."

 

Expectancy

Slot B: What are you eating?"

Tab A: "Spaghetti.  It's got a low ass expectancy."

 

Said

Tab A: "I have no idea what that just meant, but I got what you said."

 

Girls

Tab A: "I've liked girls since I figured out they weren't boys."

Slot B: "That's a million dollar t-shirt right there.  Cuz, I've liked boys since I figured out they weren't girls."

 

Shits

Slot B: "You can get anyone to give two shits about something for a free sandwich."

 

Figure

Tab A: "I need about a beers worth of time to figure out what I want to drink."

 

Geotard

Tab A: "I can't find my way home."

Slot B: "Huh?"

Tab A: "I'm a geotard."

 

Stink

Gimpy D: "Your butt stinks like ass."

Kitty C: "I know."

 

Without

Tab A: "There's a point at which you:

  • like someone...
  • want to spend more time with someone...
  • can't be without them...

I love you baby."

 

Vehicle

Tab A: "I'm just a vehicle for my penis."

 

Ranger 

Tab A: "How's this for a porn movie name: 'Bone Ranger'?"

 
Butt

Tab A: "How's this for a shirt: 'butt different'?"

 

Toilet

Tab A: "Did you say 'like a pay toilet'?"

Slot B: "No I said I like Beethoven."

Tab A: "Oh...Well that's entirely different."

 

Childbirth

Slot B: "When you can shoot bacon out of your elbows, we can begin to talk about the pain of childbirth."

 

Say

Tab A to Slot B: "I love what you don't say."

Slot B to Tab A: "This is what makes you you."

 

Place

Slot B: "I can't go to my happy place cuz I'm already there."

 

Fuque

Tab A: "How about this for a shirt: 'Fuck nice girls.'"

 

Flaw

Tab A: "She's perfectly flawed."

 

Priorities

#1 - Have fun

#2 - Make money

#3 - Don't get married

#4 - Everything else

 

50¢

Slot B: "Until me, my parents didn't have anybody to give them 50 cents to the dollar.  I'm my parents run for the money."

 

Alive

Tab A to Slot B: "I don't come alive 'til I'm with you."

 

Lust

Tab A: "Lust is the chocolate coating on an eskimo bar."

Slot B: "I lust you."

 

Hobbies

#1 - whacking off

#2 - everything else

 

Fart

Tab A: "Who doesn't love smelling their own farts?"

 

Trust

Easy to lose.  Impossible to regain.

 

Liver

Got _____?

 

Irreplaceable

Love is when you make the person you are with feel irreplaceable.

 

Fluffy

TabASlotB: "We're fluffy not stuffy."

 

Chihuaha 

Tab A - 30: O.k. Here I go. Everything I say in the next paragraph you have to take seriously, because I would not lie about this shit. It was middle school.  I had a girlfreind who was half Mexican, and her name was Blankey McBlank Blank. Her mom was a big scary Mexican lady who had no less than 40 chihuahuas. It was my second time ever having sex, so I was pretty new at the game, and while we were having "bumping uglies", one of her chihuahuas nosed open the door, jumped up on the bed, and started licking my ass. Possibly the very second I kicked the little rat off the bed, every dog in the house ran as one toward the door like a yapping khaki wave, and this could only mean one thing, madre was home. Every boy fears this situation, and I had more to fear than the usual boy. I threw on my pants, dove out the window and ran home, fearing for my life and my testicles. We broke up a week later and I never got the rest of my clothes back, but it made for an interesting story, so I guess it was worth it."

 

Crap
Tab A: "I got the crap kicked out of me for saying that.  And when I say that I got the crap kicked of me, I ... mean... the crap."
 

Poo  

Tab A - 30: "You know when you need poo for something?
Slot B: "Yeah"
Tab A - 30: "'Sunday Meat' can pretty much poo on demand.  He would poo every 5 minutes as a kid.
Slot B:  "That's handy."
 
Dick
Slot B: "What's a dick flick?"
Tab A: "You know...kinda like a...well you know."
 
Game
Tab A: "You know what game I like to play?"
Slot B: "What?"
Tab A: "You ever take a dictionary and have one person pick a word and the others have to guess the word that comes right before that word?"
Slot B:  "Oh god."
 
Plastic
Slot B:  "You ever have beer in one of those plastic pint glasses that weigh nothing?"
Tab A: "Yeah."
Slot B: "God, I just about threw the beer over my shoulder when I picked it up."
Tab A: "Yeah, pretty bad when you have muscle memory of the exact weight of a proper pint glass and are fooled by one of these plastic imitators."
 
Pants
Tab A:  "I remember when I was about 5 years old...the first time racked my self a good one.  If you are sitting on the floor tying one shoe then flip your legs around to get to the other one, make sure you know where your nuts are.  Owie."

 

Way
Slot B:  "There's no 'F' in 'Way'.
 
Schadenfreude
Tab A:  "You know how it feels when you totally dig someone and you can hardly believe it feels so right?"
Slot B: "Yeah...it's actually like there is no way this could have happened and at the same time it feels like ... Of course it happened....with this person...it's obvious."
Tab A: "There must be a German word for this...like Schadenfreude...where you take pleasure in someone else's plight...you know?...one of those great German words that say a whole paragaph..."
Slot B: "How about just 'NoFuckin'Shittinfreude'?"
 
Loud
Tab A:  "You know how people think it's stupid when someone talks loud and slowly to a person who speaks another language?"
Slot B: "Yeah..."
Tab A: "It actually helps."
Slot B: "No shit?"
 
Mississippi
Slot B: "Remember when you used to count '1 Mississippi' for a second when you were a kid?"
Tab A:  "Yeah, except that saying '1 Mississippi' when you were 7 was more like 2 seconds."
 
Drinking
Tab A:  "Day drinking is back."
Slot B: "I'm the joke my mother played on the world."
 
Cum
Slot B: "You haven't cum yet."
Tab A: "'cum'ing' is the period at the end of the sentence.  I'm still working on the verb."
 
Date
Slot B: "Don't date a guy unless he buys you stuff."
 
Pooping
Tab A:  "Pooping is healthy."
 
Stubbed
Tab A: "What's the prob?"
Slot B: "I stubbed my vagina. You?"
Tab A: "I was born a toaster head."
 
Slice
Tab A:  "I ate too much pizza last night."
Slot B: "Did you poo yet?"
Tab A: "I got about a slice out."
 
Say
Tab A:  "I've run out of things to say."
 
Roommate
Tab A:  "I think my roommate's gay."
Slot B: "Stick him in the butt and if he likes it, you'll know."
Tab A: "It's a win-win."
 
Monkey
Tab A:  "What are you watching?"
Slot B: "This guy gets his junk chewed off by two chimps and he's on TV hocking a book about a fucking monkey."
 
From: CBSNews
The chimps chewed off St. James Davis' nose and severely mauled his genitals and limbs Thursday before the son-in-law of the sanctuary's owner shot the animals to death, authorities said.
 
"Animals bite, people bite, Mike Tyson bites. So what?" he said.
 
Read also this.
Puzzle
<<tabA's been gone all weekend...tabA and kittyD have a stare down>>
Tab A: "You could've put the puzzle together.  It's sitting right fucking there."
Kitty D: "I didn't think of that."
 
Point
Tab A:  "I'm trying to emphasize my point, not deemphasize yours."
 
Thrill
Tab A:  "The guilt I have about missing a day of work is far less than the thrill I have of being with you."
 
Nose
Tab A: "And someone in the meeting said, 'mDid mYou say...mFucking?' "
Slot B:  "Quit talking out of your nose.  You're freaking me out."
Tab A: "noKay..."
 
Bearings
Tab A: "Did you find everything you were looking for?"
Slot B:  "Uh...what aisle are your ball bearings on?"
 
Tourettes
Tab A: "Let us do your fucking job for you bitch...Oh did I say that out loud. I hate my tourettes."